One reason why people may not like vegans: no one likes to feel that they are immoral

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To many vegetarians and vegans it’s a mystery: we’re doing our best to be caring and compassionate towards all sentient life, and therefore choose to boycott eating animal products. Isn’t that something commendable? But then why do so many people seem to mock, criticize or even attack vegans and veganism?

Sure, at times we can be a little annoying. We may inconvenience omnivores by making them wait while we inspect labels, or by vetoing their choice of restaurant when we go out for dinner. But this doesn’t really explain the hostility and ridicule that we may encounter at times.

Part of what’s happening here is a phenomenon called do-gooder derogation, or the putting down of morally motivated others.

You may have experienced it yourself as a vegetarian or vegan: without even having said anything at all, meat eaters at the table may get defensive by making fun of you and your “diet”.

Why does this do-gooder derogation happen? The problem is that people will often feel that your behavior (i.e., your eating or being vegan) is an implicit condemnation of theirs (their eating meat). Morally good behavior seems to often come with an implicit moral reproach towards others.

According to researchers who have studied do-gooder derogation, “moral reproach, even implicit, stings because people are particularly sensitive to criticism about their moral standing (…). Because of this concern with retaining a moral identity, morally-motivated minorities may be particularly troubling to the mainstream, and trigger resentment.” The response to this threat to our moral identity, then, is to put down the source of the threat (Minson and Monin).

Merely thinking about how vegetarians see the morality of non-vegetarians can trigger the derogation effect. When meat eaters anticipate moral reproach by vegetarians – i.e., when meat eaters think that vegetarians would morally condemn them – they will tend to increase their derogation.

Now, the biggest problem that should concern us here is not that the ethical consumers (in this case, the vegans) are offended, ridiculed or treated badly, but that the denigrators themselves will be less committed to ethical values in the future. In other words, the negative comparison doesn’t just offend the vegans, but prevents the meat eaters – out of some kind of self protection – from taking steps towards veganism themselves (Zane).

So, to summarize, this is what may happen (worst case scenario).

This is obviously problematic for the spread of vegan values and behavior. So, here are my suggestions to avoid causing non-vegans to feel morally reproached, and thus to derogate vegans and veganism, and thus become more alienated from us and our message.

  1. Don’t “rub it in”. If people often feel guilty already, and experiencing moral reproach alienates them from us and our message, don’t add to their feeling of guilt or moral reproach by further guilt-tripping them. It won’t help (even though sometimes it might be fun or satisfying to us).
  2. Don’t only use moral messages and arguments. These can be problematic in the sense that they bring forth more do-gooder derogation than non-moral messages. Non-vegans feel less threatened by people who eat a plant-based diet for health reasons than by ethical vegans. This doesn’t mean you have to stop using ethical arguments; just that also talking about health (or taste) can be strategic and productive.
  3. Talk about your own imperfections. We can tell others some of the things we do while we know we shouldn’t. Maybe we talk about how we didn’t change overnight and needed some convincing ourselves. Or we can talk about other domains in which we’re doing less great. It’s important to show others that we’re not different from them, not some kind of alien species with a level of morality or discipline they could never attain.
  4. You may want to make explicit the distinction between the act and the person. Choosing to not eat animal products is a morally better choice, but that doesn’t mean that people who are still eating animal products are bad people.

Rather than adding to derogation, alienation and disempowerment, we can do our own part in creating connection and rapport with others.

(Read much more on effective communication in my new book, How to Create a Vegan World).


22 thoughts on “One reason why people may not like vegans: no one likes to feel that they are immoral

  1. I think appeasement brings its own risks. Most people are pretty comfortable with a high level of oblivious selfishness and casual cruelty. While your general ‘don’t be a dick’ rule holds as true in this example as most other similar situations in life, many people do need gentle encouragement to consider any alternative perspective than their own complacent status quo. Pointing out the contradictions of “loving” but still harming animals, and the dearth of justification to do so seems to be the minimum catalyst necessary to break their inertia and start their path towards enquiry. Just don’t be an overbearing sanctimonious zealot in the process. I think it has to be called out, and it is our duty as aware and ethical humans to do so. Even if it is uncomfortable sometimes

  2. Very good commentary on outreach, and in what I like to call “the long game.” We use the long game with our friends and family; patience is your best tool when you know people are going to be continually in your sphere of influence.

    I caution the attitude that “vegans are the same” and “This is what it’s like to be vegan” and “this is the best way to make vegans.” There is no one vegan just as there is no one Borg assimilation of non-vegans. To say “vegans must make nice” ignores the fact that there are many people that respond to a strident message, just as there are individuals who shrink from it. Veganism can’t fit everybody if there’s a one-size-fits-all approach — while some people find empathy via a strong sense of justice, the rest find justice through a strong sense of empathy. The ways must be as many as blades of grass, and each individual may benefit from contact with a wide variety of vegan messages — being shocked by a Direct Action Everywhere demonstration at the meat counter in Whole Foods, and a gentle conversation with a vegan cousin over coffee. Which one’s “right?” The wake up call or the shepherding into the fold? One thing is for sure — people don’t make “radical” changes to their lives, and stick to it, without some sort of visceral reaction to go with the intellectual logic.

  3. Vegetarians [and I am one) and vegans bring a lot of this opprobrium on themselves by taking this ‘holier than thou’ attitude. I do not think avoiding eating meat makes me better than someone else. It is my personal choice. So I never try to influence anyone to do the same as me. Naturally, people become defensive if I mention I don’t eat meat and explain how they hardly eat any or have to because of xyz, and that is their trip, and I can’t help that, but it is not a trip I would ever lay on anyone, because, as I said, I actually don’t regard my choice as a moral high ground and I wish other non-meat eaters didn’t either, because they are not helping anyone with this attitude.

      1. How do you figure that “eating animals isn’t a personal choice”? Someone can always choose not to do it, hence it certainly is a personal choice.

        1. He said, the difference is victims. Just like pit bull fighting. That isn’t a choice in many places, it’s illegal.

          1. Do you guys really believe, that plants are not victims? Humans kill animals as well as plants by eating them…it seems to me, that many vegans don’t realize that even plants are alive. It is not good to kill animals, but it is not good to kill plants either. BUT WE GOTTA EAT SOMETHING

              1. A number of studies have shown that plants feel pain, and vegetables are picked and often eaten while still alive.

                Sorry, Vegans: Scientists Say That Plants Can Feel Stress.

                Even the Ancient Indians did know that, if you read the Scripture.

                Truth dosent care about feelings.

  4. I think it’s the preaching especially and the guilt tripping (mostly from vegans, never really noticed it with vegetarians, I just respect their choice and they respect mine). I have nothing against vegans and quite love some of the recipes. But I had a conflict with a vegan coworker who was going on and on about chickens during our lunch break until I finally flipped out on her saying “I don’t give a fuck about the damn chickens”. Now I’ve hand raised a chicken from an egg myself (she was more of a companion than anything throughout the final term of my pregnancy and unable to move much without pain, she’s now living with my mother in-law so she can be outside in a garden) and I’m becoming more aware now of the atrocities that go on in that industry but back then I was seeing a lot of atrocities already.

    I was meeting people on a daily basis with all sorts of problems that ended up in a shelter or on the street (like a girl who’s mother told her to get an abortion at 16 or she’d kick her out and she put her on the street anyway after the abortion, or mentally challenged girl who had been raped repeatedly by caregivers, or a young boy half native half white who suffered extreme physical abuse from his family for being half white, or a girl who had been raped by family and later put into prostitution by her boyfriend.

    Honestly the stories are endless and seeing all of that regularly… In that moment, since I was also physically and mentally exhausted, I didn’t have the emotional capacity left to give a damn about ‘the chickens’ and she just wasn’t stopping.

    It’s not that you’re wrong to protest or that there isn’t a lot of horrible things going on, it’s that you are so focused on that that you cannot see what the other person in front of you is struggling with and that maybe they don’t have the capacity to handle more crap right now. How about giving the other person some space so that they become more open to the things you want to show them.

    Not everyone is interested in becoming vegan, but they may be interested in joining your fight to stop the commercialized pain inflicted on the animals. But don’t just give someone shit for not doing it your way because they don’t want to help by becoming vegan (so OBVIOUSLY they must be heartless) but instead would rather find alternative solutions to raise the standard of care for and protection of animals.

    Also, with time things change. My coworker was deadset on convincing me to change through lecture. You fight, I dig in my heels. You’ve already lost me and most people will refuse now solely because it’s what you’re telling them to do. I’ve actually found over time I’ve naturally started eating less meat and haven’t really been missing it that much.

    And another way to ‘convert’ could just be making such an awesome mouth-watering recipes that they’ll want to make them over and over and every time they make it you’ve thwarted the meat industry a bit more. Rather than the “You eat meat so you’re this and this, and d you even think of that, and how must they feel and -guilt, guilt, guilt-, -shame, shame, shame” etc.

  5. I’ll tell you EXACTLY what it is, at least for those of us who have spent a lifetime doing the dirty, thankless work of rescuing and caring for homeless, unwanted animals. We are sick of being told we are cruel to animals, despite all we do, simply because we ate sour cream or drank milk. We also don’t like being told what to do, and being dictated to, or being told a health problem we have can be cured by veganism when we know it can’t be. We’re sick of self-righteous vegans who have 308 selfies on their Facebook page showing them hugging cows, while we’re doing the thankless work of cleaning cages and working with maladjusted animals needing rehabbing so we can rehome them. We’re tired of being told we MUST feed vegan food to cats and dogs that we rescue, or we’re cruel. I think veganism has attracted a lot of 20 somethings with emotional issues who use veganism to make themselves feel superior to others. PLEASE GO AWAY and stop ruining the animal rescue movement for the animals WE take the time, personal money and energy to rescue. People think we’re all nuts because of many of YOU.

    1. THANK YOU! “I see you drank a glass of milk, let me tell you why you’re worse than Hitler.” Hyperbole, but still, the attitude of every vegan I have ever personally met or encountered online. Keep your movement you crass, grassfed hypocrites.

  6. The problem here is that vegans do eat live things, they eat vegetables and humans cannot survive without eating other life.
    A carrot cannot consent to being eaten, that carrot may also be sentient and research has shown that this could well be the case.
    Vegans believe they are helping to protect animals but they divert their guilt at eating live things by not eating things that can look them in the eye.
    I raise my own cattle and chickens, they get looked after they well and their death is humane. My vegetables get looked after equally as well.
    The real reason people dislike vegans is their tendency to smug preachy behaviour and complete denial about the lives and rights of alleged non-sentient life.
    All you have to do is live your own life, eat what you decide is best for you and shut up about it.
    You do not have the god-given right to convert the rest of the world to your way of thinking and that is the problem in a nutshell.

  7. How is it a mystery why most people don’t like vegans? You literally exemplify in the first sentence of your article why people don’t like vegans without even seeming to realize it. You start of right away with indicating that non-vegans are “immoral”. And you wonder why people don’t like you? First of all, we don’t live in a vegan world. Nature encouraged a food chain and life has fed on life since life on earth began. Any morality you apply to something entirely encouraged in nature is purely subjective. It is your personal moral belief that eating meat is morally wrong. That belief is not a reflection of the reality of the world you live in, which is anything but vegan. You decided for yourself that it is wrong to eat meat. Second, you very clearly indicate a desire to convert other people to your personal vegan beliefs. See a problem here? You treat your vegan beliefs like some sort of dietary religion. You feel a need to convince others to do as you do. Again…you wonder why people don’t like vegans? I’ll explain it to you myself since I’m not a vegan. We don’t like you because many of you act self-righteous, arrogant, standoffish, angry, and you try to push your own personal beliefs onto other people. It has nothing to do with us somehow feeling “guilty”, or having some inner subconscious knowledge that we are somehow “immoral”. A human eating meat is no more “immoral” in the eyes of nature than when a pig munches on a dead rabbit, or when a big fish swallows a little fish. I don’t feel guilty for eating meat, and I need you to understand that. I get beneficial nutrients from meat, and I respect and understand that life feeds on life. I have absolutely no issue with that. Furthermore, to be entirely frank I find vegans to be insufferable. You point out a perfect example of why I feel that way. The single biggest deal breaker for me when I was still dating, was if a woman was vegan. I would immediately lose any and all interest in her the moment I found out. I honestly think being married to a vegan would be a nightmare for me. Perhaps disliking vegans has more to do with you wanting to convert others to your beliefs, feeling morally superior, and being standoffish than it does with us feeling “guilty” for eating meat. Infact I’m telling you, as a person who eats meat, that we don’t like you for those reasons, and not because of some sort of misplaced guilt over being “immoral”.

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